// Photo by Naima Green
If you haven’t read the second part of this series, here it is: 5 Types of People You Should Totally Hang Out With To Be Happy.
If you’re able to comprehend this sentence, I’m sure you have lived long enough to figure out the kinds of people you dislike. While I strongly believe one should be friends with everyone, there should be a line between acknowledging their existence and giving them an all-access pass into your life.
Since we’re all humans, let’s start with the negatives – the types of people you should avoid at all costs. These unreliable people aren’t worth your precious time, and they can make you feel restricted the longer you keep them around your side. Filter them out of your life as soon as possible – you’d be able to express yourself more freely and feel more liberated in the decisions you make.
While it’s still important to be nice to those people, never do it at the expense of your happiness and self-respect.
1. Mr/Mrs. Negative
It is never a good idea to hang around people who are experts in being pessimistic. Moods are contagious, and a very good example would be how your music, or even Instagram filters, affect your perception on certain things. A sad break-up song will dampen and darken your mood a little, and likewise, the Sutro effect on Selfies and Foods will kinda make you portray the picture with a heavier feel.
Being around negative people will eventually lead to you being pessimistic about the things around you as well, trust me. Before you even get started on a project, they will start developing thoughts that the assignment will fail no matter what, and these thoughts are usually aired out pretty often, and loudly, and not necessarily expressed only during the above scenario.
How are you able to keep your morale and positive outlook alive when there’s someone beside you constantly yapping about how life sucks, about how everything sucks and refusing to do anything about it, because, well, “it’s not going to work”.
I’m telling you, even that Pharell Williams song isn’t going to cure them anytime soon.
There’s a difference, however, between being negative, having alot of self-doubt and being disheartened. The second and third are those who suffer from a temporary lack of self confidence or a lack of success, and they may inadvertently voice out what’s on their minds once in awhile. The first, meanwhile, are the ones who hang out their negativity diapers to dry 24/7/365. They’re buzzkills, morale annihilators, mood destructors, vibe obliterators etc, you get the point. The line between them tho are, more often than not, clearly distinct.
In short, just stay as far as you can from negative people. In order to clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth, surround yourself with happy people who thinks positive for most parts of their days, or lives for that matter.
Just like Instagram, filter them out because you don’t need them in your life.
2. Simon Cowell
Come on, life isn’t a reality competition. Why is there a need to judge? No one’s going to Hollywood.
The Simon Cowells are the people that judges others compulsively. They are absolutely toxic, really. They may argue that “oh, you can’t take a joke” or “it’s not my fault that you’re insecure about yourself”, and while that may be true, why do you have to be around with people who makes you feel like shit?
They have absolutely nothing nice to say, and will always hurt and make you feel uneasy around them. Don’t mentally exhaust yourself and starve yourself of feeling-good-about-yourself time because over time, you’re just going to get more and more self-conscious about how you look and behave that you don’t feel like yourself anymore.
There’s no need to continuously subject yourself to being told that “if your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning”, or “if you had lived 2,000 years ago and sung like that, I think they would have stoned you”, or “do you have a singing teacher? Get a lawyer and sue her”.
Just give them four no-s to send them out of the reality singing competition called “Your Life”.
Oh and on a side note, do something because you genuinely want to, not because to impress some stuck-up people who will still be talking about you no matter how you change.
For me personally, if people are going to talk about me and the choices I make regardless of how I portray myself, I must as well give them something to talk about.
3. Mine, mine, your tampon, also mine.
Yeaaaaa, these type of people kinda probably do not maybe want your tampons per se.
At least that’s what I think.
Anyway, this group of people are always taking and taking and taking and offering nothing to their friends. Just like in love, friendship is also a two-way street, and if you’re constantly offering and doing them favors, helping them with their “enormous workload” (I don’t know, but I think it must be really exhausting just enjoying four whole seasons of Game of Thrones), and cleaning up their mess without getting so much so as a thank-you, or at least some form of reasonable recognition, then chances are you’re probably just a pawn being taken advantage of.
To be honest, I don’t see much difference between love and friendship. If you minus the kissing, chemistry, holding of hands, mutual attraction, public display of attraction, interco- yea you know what, let’s just leave the matter as it is.
Friends, like lovers, should be there when both parties need each other. Even though problems can’t be solved instantly, a listening ear will suffice for most of us to get that heaping load of trashy burden off our chests. If your so-called ‘friend’ can’t do that for you, well, yea.
Even a television theme song knows the definition of a friend.
4. Ego McFlurry
Hah, these are the narcissistic people.
It’s pretty easy to confuse confidence with pathological narcissism due to the judgements and biases registered in your brain, but the overly narcissistic ones are really easy to spot.
They’re full of themselves, have a severe lack of empathy and think they can do whatever they want because “swag”. On planet Earth we have a word for that.
It’s called “Justin Bieber”.
Anyway, what is poisonous about them is basically their lack of empathy, and their willingness to exploit others to further their interests, which is something you don’t see every often in people who have way lower, and healtheir, self-esteem. Without a sense of empathy, you’re just a tool for them to use till they get what they want. After that, they’ll just throw you away like cash in Jersey Shore.
They are ruthless and rarely spare a thought for others, so chances are that you’re going to get eaten up if you hang around them for an extended period of time. Their world only revolves around one person and one person only, themselves, so for them to see you as part of their lives all of a sudden, something’s fishy.
5. People who have not seen Frozen
Frozen is a little overexposed at this stage in time, but the Oscar-winning song Let It Go has ironically evaded the attention of a number of people.
These people are the ones who hold eternal grudges. They’re grumpy mad when they see you, sarcastic when they talk to you, and the waywardness level of their logic is spectacularly phenomenal.
Come on, no one likes North Korea.
Holding grudges is really tiring, for those who experienced how it felt like before. For me personally, I really can’t stay mad at a person for really long. Lucky for the world, most of us are like that.
However, there are still a small group of people in our population that will remain mad at you and refuse to forgive you for something that’s smaller than their brains. If they don’t want to let an ancient squabble go, so be it. We don’t need unforgiving people in our lives.
As humans, we’re going to continue making numerous mistakes, and one of the most important element that allows us to improve from those unfortunate experiences is a supportive group of people that are less self-centered and are willing to give others a chance to make things right.
True friends wouldn’t compromise the friendship between you and them over trivial matters. If you lose them, there’s really nothing to fret about. It’s their loss that they have to shoulder such a heavy burden for the next couple of decades, and should you have done everything humanly possible to make it up to them, don’t let it affect you too much.
And by humanly possible, I meant showing them the movie Frozen.