I was stumbling thru my Twitter timeline one day when I stumbled onto this tweet:
Remember when I was younger and I said I didn't want boobs ahahahahahahahhaha I was an ignorant little shit please give me boobs—
Nav Vantas (@kir2chtein) June 30, 2014
And this got me thinking, what did I want (or didn’t want) as a kid that I regret now? Pretty thought-provoking isn’t it?
I got my dear friend cum relationship consultant, Naveena Menon to help me out with this post. Together, we compiled a list of 10 things (she did the first 6) I think almost everyone wanted (or didn’t want) as kids, but ended up regretting it when they grow up.
1. Dressing Up Expectations
When I was much younger: *watches Disney movies and sees the princesses getting “dolled up”, wearing dresses and heels and makeup* One day, I’ll put that much effort into getting ready.
Now: As it turns out, forest animals do not come in through my window and help me dress up, nor do I get a fairy god mother who is able to conjure the perfect outfit in a matter of seconds and so my dressing up routine usually turns out like this:
*attempts to put on makeup*
*ends up looking like death warmed over*
*washes face and throws on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans*
2. Chest Dimensions
When I was much younger: Young ignorant me hadn’t wanted boobs, because having rumble-spheres had seemed severely uncomfortable at that time.
Now: Unfortunately, younger me got her wish and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had adequate boobage.
When I was much younger: Swearing is so rude, my parents would kill me if I ever swore. I will never ever swear.
Now: *computer hangs*, *stubs toe* and *anything (or anyone) that is even remotely annoying*
4. Mature Movies
When I was much younger: *during the sex scene of a movie* *mum covers my eyes* *I try to peek because I was curious*
Now: *during the sex scene of a movie* *glances away from the screen, looks everywhere but the screen* Oh my god look at the microorganisms on the sofa!
5. Getting Scolded
When I was much younger: *gets upset and starts crying* I’m sorry, I promise I’ll never do that again.
When I was much younger: I don’t want to take an afternoon nap! I don’t want to go to sleep yet! Five more minutes mum! Pleaseee. Can I stay up today?
Now: Can I sleep, I just want to sleep, but I have essays to write, projects to complete and books to read… I really really just want to sleep.
When I was much younger: Damn are glasses totes kewl or what!
Now: Give me a minute I’m trying to stop my 3D glasses from slipping off.
8. Turning 18
When I was much younger: Stop nagging Mom! I can do this and I will (if you don’t take away my toys).
Now: Erm… this is not what I expected…. Mom…?
When I was much younger: I want to get “Band 1” and As for every subject. I want to be the first in class every year. How hard could it be? I just need to follow what the purple dinosaur on the television told me and work hard!
Now: I’m sleep deprived, I have no friends, and I’m enjoying my tenth year in secondary school.
When I was much younger: I want to have hair like the people in the magazines! What’s so hard about using water to shift and position your strands of hair?
Now: The producers of The Goonies 2 asked me not long ago whether I’ll be interested in auditioning for Sloth.
So tell me, what is one thing that you want (or didn’t want) as a kid that you regret now?