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Please Give Me Boobs: When I Was Much Younger

I was stumbling thru my Twitter timeline one day when I stumbled onto this tweet:

And this got me thinking, what did I want (or didn’t want) as a kid that I regret now? Pretty thought-provoking isn’t it?

I got my dear friend cum relationship consultant, Naveena Menon to help me out with this post. Together, we compiled a list of 10 things (she did the first 6) I think almost everyone wanted (or didn’t want) as kids, but ended up regretting it when they grow up.

1. Dressing Up Expectations
When I was much younger: *watches Disney movies and sees the princesses getting “dolled up”, wearing dresses and heels and makeup* One day, I’ll put that much effort into getting ready.

Now: As it turns out, forest animals do not come in through my window and help me dress up, nor do I get a fairy god mother who is able to conjure the perfect outfit in a matter of seconds and so my dressing up routine usually turns out like this:

*attempts to put on makeup*

*ends up looking like death warmed over* 

*washes face and throws on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans*

2. Chest Dimensions
When I was much younger: Young ignorant me hadn’t wanted boobs, because having rumble-spheres had seemed severely uncomfortable at that time.

Now: Unfortunately, younger me got her wish and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had adequate boobage.

3. Swearing
When I was much younger: Swearing is so rude, my parents would kill me if I ever swore. I will never ever swear.

Now: *computer hangs*, *stubs toe* and *anything (or anyone) that is even remotely annoying*

4. Mature Movies
When I was much younger: *during the sex scene of a movie* *mum covers my eyes* *I try to peek because I was curious*

Now: *during the sex scene of a movie* *glances away from the screen, looks everywhere but the screen* Oh my god look at the microorganisms on the sofa!

5. Getting Scolded
When I was much younger: *gets upset and starts crying* I’m sorry, I promise I’ll never do that again.

Now: Aight.

6. Bedtime
When I was much younger: I don’t want to take an afternoon nap! I don’t want to go to sleep yet! Five more minutes mum! Pleaseee. Can I stay up today?

Now: Can I sleep, I just want to sleep, but I have essays to write, projects to complete and books to read… I really really just want to sleep.  

7. Glasses
When I was much younger: Damn are glasses totes kewl or what!

Now: Give me a minute I’m trying to stop my 3D glasses from slipping off.

8. Turning 18
When I was much younger: Stop nagging Mom! I can do this and I will (if you don’t take away my toys).

Now: Erm… this is not what I expected…. Mom…?

9. Results
When I was much younger: I want to get “Band 1” and As for every subject. I want to be the first in class every year. How hard could it be? I just need to follow what the purple dinosaur on the television told me and work hard!

Now: I’m sleep deprived, I have no friends, and I’m enjoying my tenth year in secondary school.

10. Hair
When I was much younger: I want to have hair like the people in the magazines! What’s so hard about using water to shift and position your strands of hair?

Now: The producers of The Goonies 2 asked me not long ago whether I’ll be interested in auditioning for Sloth.


So tell me, what is one thing that you want (or didn’t want) as a kid that you regret now?

Follow Naveena on Twitter at @kir2chtein
Follow me on Instagram at @wenkai31


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4 Comments

  1. Hmm please dont mind says

    Hey Lhu, great post! When I was wayyy younger I would think ‘cant wait to grow up and do grow up stuff”. Yeah!!! About that. Now I wish I could go back to school :P

  2. Can I just say that, the list you have up there is like perfect to the “unicorn” point!!!!

    Seriously my current teen life is nothing like those disney shows which drained into me!!!

    AWESOME POST !!!

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