All posts filed under: Humor

5 Types of People You Should Totally Hang Out With To Be Happy

If you haven’t read the first instalment of this series, here it is: 5 Types Of People You Should Avoid To Be Happy. Hmm, after reading about the five types of people you should avoid to be happy, I decided that it is only be logical to write an article about the opposite, that is five types of people you should hang around with in order to be happy. As mentioned in the previous posts, good friends are really important to have, because they really help you in so many aspects of your life. As you will find out later, true friends are your biggest fans, your listening ears, and your guidance in life. Nice, caring, thoughtful, amusing and charming are some of the words used to describe me. Also, as mentioned in the previous article, I really like three paragraph intros, and I tend to use exactly three paragraphs before I start introducing my lists proper. And I suck at Maths. Advertisements

When The Haze Strikes

Most Singaporeans should know that in recent times, our lives have become a hell lot more exciting following the dramatic rise of our PSI levels. If the remarkable increase of citizens wearing masks that look like one side of a bra didn’t raise your eyebrows, and you’re still strolling along the beaches of East Coast Park, skipping and swinging your arms, singing The Beatles’ “Here Comes The Sun”, you might want to consider going for an eye checkup, although that really depends on whether you can make it to the ICU alive before that. McDonalds temporarily shut down its delivery service due to “safety concerns”, so I’m not sure if the paramedics and ambulances are allowed to leave the hospitals. Ah well, hopefully someone will see you gasping for air and attend to your distress call. Tough luck tho, knowing Singaporeans. They’ll probably take out their mobile phones first, and Instagram a theatrical image of you dying, with the caption, “Man suffocating. I think it’s because of the haze. Should I help… LOL. #park #sky …

5 Things I Dislike About Cinemas

1. Girls who squirm. We have annoying people, very annoying people, very, very annoying people, and then we have the girls who squirm when something deemed as “cute, cuddly and lovable pops up on the screen. These bunch of torturous brand of homosapiens just can’t keep their mouth shut. Does a gerbil with those “I’m innocent” puppy-dog eyes or a baby who makes weird pre-puberty sound effects motivate you to, well, act like a baby? And guess what, these species usually hang out in cliques of 4 to 5, so basically, if you’re looking to wind down after a long, hard day, leave after the trailers. Why do we need Guantanamo Bay and all the tacky interrogation techniques when you can put prisoners in a room with squealing teenage girls. They would be begging for mercy when a baby hamster appears. Obtaining sensitive information from a seasoned, hardened, bullheaded criminal? Oh, you mean counting from 1 to 3? 2. Crying babies. I do not have anything against babies believe me, but really, you expect me to behave …

How Unpunctual Teachers Screw Up My Life

With teachers gradually losing their grasp on the concept of punctuality and abilities to keep track of time, the painful sight of long queues that greet you after climbing down 10 blocks of stairs has become more prevalent as the year goes on. Recess was supposed to be a time of relaxation. It’s supposed to be a time when we catch up with our friends, find out what nonsense they were up to, and how screwed up their lives are etc. Nowadays, most students spend the majority of this rare period of freedom, queueing up for (in my case), excessively overpriced, immensely undersized food. It is extremely heartbreaking to see how our dear recesses are being eaten up (no pun intended) by various teachers whose “Let me finish this question” requires a severely underestimated 10 mins. A simple “What’s 1+1?” question can lead to this huge amazing miraculous life story on how Tom-worked-so-hard-and-finally-achieved-his dreams. I mean, don’t get me wrong I feel great for whoever Tom-guy this teacher’s talking about, but with all due repsect, you releasing the class on …